


Between belief, between the seas

by rangerkier



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, selkie!Randy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22833175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rangerkier/pseuds/rangerkier
Summary: Randy has some conflicted feelings and realizations on the ride to and from Ignota.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Between belief, between the seas

Randy looked up at the towering creatures, at the odd blade held to Captain Shadow’s throat. It was strange. Because he related to them. Yet at the same time, he couldn’t at all. It wasn’t a curse that held him trapped on land, unless someone called the Nowhere Man a curse. Which- yeah, okay maybe. But both were trapped somewhere they hadn’t come from. Both just wanted to go home. 

_We’ve been gone from home for a very long time._

He had too. Too long to think about. He knew what it was like; he could imagine the pain they felt every time they caught sight of land and could only look longingly. Because it was probably a lot like the pain he felt right now, knowing the ocean was right under him, he couldn’t see it from his angle in the cabin but he could hear it. But it was still infinitely far away so long as he didn’t have his skin. 

They were the same. They both just wanted to return to a home that was out of reach. 

But they were the exact opposite, because these cursed sahuagin were trying so hard to escape the place Randy desperately wished he could return to. Even with his empathy for them, Randy found he almost hated them for it. He would swap situations with them any time they wanted.

Then there was a voice closer to him, no longer Captain Reefheart’s. Raz’ul, asking some question about the task they had been handed. Randy turned to look at him, and Yashee, just beyond. Trading situations, returning to the ocean permanently, would mean leaving them behind. 

Even if he’d grown used to it, the underlying ache of homesickness was always present in him. But he suddenly realized he had a home. It was them. He’d already known that, hadn’t he? After everything they’d been through together, how could those two lovable doofuses not be his home?

The realization didn’t ease the homesickness. 

He was almost a literal fish out of water that had grown legs. He’d eventually found and made a new home on land, but the sea still called him home. Even if he could trade his legs back in for the old model, for the flippers and tail, would he? Even before he’d been stolen away, he hadn’t lived exclusively at sea, as a seal. Selkies are shapeshifters, that’s not how they’re meant to live.

But neither was this.

_To stay in this form or return to your home is only yours to decide._

But it wasn’t, it wasn’t that simple. It wasn’t that simple for the cursed crew and it definitely wasn’t that simple for him. They had to convince people to help them, collect some ingredients and sing a song. His task would be even harder; he’d have to face the Nowhere Man and steal back what they’d taken from him that night on the beach. The memory of his skin, draped over the shoulder of the Nowhere Man that found him out as they walked out of the room he was left in pushed itself to the front of his mind. That had been the last time he saw it. He’d never known where it was in all his years with them, not so much as a hint. What chance would he ever have of finding it now? Even with the ever present wish, part of him had accepted long ago that he would never return home. And how could he even return home when that would involve leaving it?

What was home? It wasn’t a place, it never had been. He’d never had a place that people of the land would call a home. It was a bit different when you were a seal. They’d always been moving, swimming from place to place, stopping on the land for short periods. He’d probably been so many places without realizing, since he was still too young to understand. And he’d never stopped moving, not with the Nowhere Man, not while he was running from them, and not now with Chaos Sauce. He looked toward one of the windows of the captain’s quarters and saw the passing sky.

So even if he miraculously got the opportunity, what was he to do? When you had two homes, both always moving, through the sea and across the land, how would you go home? Where did you belong?

* * *

Randy held onto the ship’s railing and stared out at the waves as they passed by. He’d barely had a chance to actually just watch the ocean. When they’d set out, their group had been hanging out, eating, playing games, singing for the crew. Then the cursed crew boarded the ship and demanded their cooperation.

Now that was done, the curse was lifted, and they were finally on their way to their actual destination. He closed his eyes and just experienced it all. The ambient moisture in the air, the occasional splash from the spray, the smell of the salt and the motion of the ship. With his eyes closed, he could almost pretend he’d never been stolen away; time couldn’t take away the familiarity of all this. 

But neither could it ease the pain. The pain that wouldn’t let him forget all that had happened to him. The pain that was only worsened by being so close to the sea, his first home; he could touch it but it was still so far out of reach. 

He glanced over his shoulder to the deck. Yashee and Raz’ul had joined Splash in another game of shuffleboard. He’d been able to overhear some of the argument about how to split up the uneven teams. Both his bandmates seemed to want Splash on their side at the start, but it eventually ended up the two of them against him. It currently looked like they were teasing him about something.

He was home. No matter where he was, as long as he had them, he was home. He might never be able to go home, to his first home, but nothing was going to take this one away from him. Not some mad sahuagin with a trident, not the Nowhere Man, nothing. 

He smiled and turned back to the ocean, crossing his arms on the railing and resting his head on them. Time may not be able to ease the pain, but his friends could. He watched the waves, the rhythmic rise and fall, and felt lulled by it all.

“Are you okay, Randy?”

He opened his eyes, apparently he had closed them again to just listen to the song of the sea, and glanced up to find Splash looking down at him with a small level of concern. “I thought you guys were playing shuffleboard?”

“We already finished; Raz’ul and Yashee went to get food,” he smiled, but his eyes looked more concerned. “You’ve been over here a while. This sort of… quiet contemplation seems out of character for you. I would have expected you to find some trouble to get yourself into by this point.”

“Yeah, well. There wasn’t really a chance to just watch the waves before everything happened, so,” he shrugged, _here I am_ the motion said. But why would he want to watch the waves? That was part of what Splash thought was weird. He had to give a reason or Splash might still wonder about it. “I’ve never actually been to the sea before. Just taking it all in.”

He’d lied so much it had become second nature to him. But next to calling himself a halfling, he was pretty sure that was the biggest lie he’d ever told, and letting it pass his lips almost made him feel sick, like there was a lump in his throat. He coughed quietly, trying to clear it. 

Splash didn’t miss the sound, placing a concerned hand on his back. “You sure you’re good? You’re not getting seasick are you?”

“Nah, just had a sting in my throat, some salt probably got in there.” There was enough salt around that it could be true easily enough.

“Okay, well. You’re obviously free to stay here, but I was going to join your bandmates in getting some food and thought I’d extend the invitation.”

“I’ll come,” he straightened up away from the railing. “Turns out the ocean is pretty repetitive; don’t have to watch it long to see all it has to offer,” he smirked, wondering if he could ever be convincing in pretending he was bored of the ocean. It was easy enough to see why people would think that, but he knew that no one could ever see all it had to offer. 

“I’m not sure that’s true,” Splash turned to prepare to walk below deck but kept his eyes on the waves a moment longer, a smile on his lips. “It takes patience, I think, but there’s a lot to see out there. Anyway, let’s join the others or they’ll already be done by the time we get down there.” He started walking away and Randy tore his eyes from the ocean to follow.


End file.
